Costco muffins are just too big.

Let’s unpack that statement.  Here’s what happens: you start out really hungry and the muffin looks so good.  But about four-fifths of the way through the muffin, you start thinking, “this is starting to get prettty gross…”  But you can’t just stop there.  You’ve already eaten past the half-way point, so it’s not like you can save the rest for tomorrow.  But it’s far too much to throw away; that’s just wasteful!  So you feel compelled to cram the last bites down.  By then, it’s become downright gag-inducing.  But forge ahead, you must.  After you’ve finally finished off the last bite (so dry, so hard to swallow), you kinda hate yourself and vow never look upon a blasted Costco muffin again.  At least until the next day, when you’re really hungry and the muffin is looking so good….

That’s what happens.